If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.
My spelling is Wobbly. It’s good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.
The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.
You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
What I say is that, if a fellow really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow.
Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.
Bores can be divided into two classes; those who have their own particular subject, and those who do not need a subject.
War is something of man’s own fostering, and if all mankind renounces it, then it is no longer there.
A clever conjurer is welcome anywhere, and those of us whose powers of entertainment are limited to the setting of booby-traps or the arranging of apple-pie beds must view with envy the much greater tribute of laughter and applause which is the lot of the prestidigitator with some natural gift for legerdemain.
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
I suppose that every one of us hopes secretly for immortality; to leave, I mean, a name behind him which will live forever in this world, whatever he may be doing, himself, in the next.
The Old Testament is responsible for more atheism, agnosticism, disbelief – call it what you will – than any book ever written. It has emptied more churches than all the counter-attractions of cinema, motor-bicycle and golf course.
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
I am sure of this: that no one can write a book which children will like unless he write it for himself first.
A writer wants something more than money for his work: he wants permanence.
Is ‘The Wind in the Willows’ a children’s book? Is ‘Alice in Wonderland?’ Is ‘Treasure Island?’ These are masterpieces which we read with pleasure as children, but with how much more pleasure when we are grown-up.
You will be better advised to watch what we do instead of what we say.
Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the thing you can’t hear, and not bothering.
Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.
Almost anyone can be an author; the business is to collect money and fame from this state of being.
Tiggers don’t like honey.
No sensible author wants anything but praise.
I gave up writing children’s books. I wanted to escape from them as I had once wanted to escape from ‘Punch’: as I have always wanted to escape. In vain.
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words, like ‘What about lunch?’