Introduction,
John Mulaney is an American comedian, actor, writer, and producer, best known for his stand-up comedy and work on popular television shows such as “Saturday Night Live” and “Big Mouth.” He was born on August 26, 1982, in Chicago, Illinois, and as of March 2023, he is still alive.
Mulaney began his career in comedy as a writer for “Saturday Night Live,” where he earned critical acclaim for his work on the show’s “Weekend Update” segment. He later transitioned to stand-up comedy, performing in clubs and theaters across the United States and releasing several successful comedy albums.
In addition to his stand-up work, Mulaney has also written and produced several television shows, including the Emmy Award-winning “Documentary Now!” and the animated series “Big Mouth,” which he co-created with fellow comedian Nick Kroll.
Throughout his career, Mulaney has been praised for his sharp wit, observational humor, and ability to blend personal anecdotes with broader cultural commentary. He has been nominated for multiple Emmy Awards and has won several for his work on “Saturday Night Live” and “Documentary Now!”
As of March 2023, John Mulaney remains an active performer and writer, and his work continues to entertain and inspire audiences around the world.
In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
I’ll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die.
I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.
My vibe is like, hey you could probably pour soup in my lap and I’ll apologize to you.
If you are a school student, your opinion does not matter.
It’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them.
You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don’t know what they’re talking about.
I don’t look older, I just look worse.
The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
I still like to turn on the TV and watch whatever’s on.
I was bullied when I was in school for being Asian
I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I’ve always enjoyed it.
I never knew you were supposed to push off of your feet when you walked. And I tried it, and I walked much faster.
It was so beautiful today that I only watched four hours of ‘Law & Order’ in my apartment.
My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.
Just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting.
I don’t make plans anymore. So I’m not living minute to minute.
You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
Irish people don’t want comfort. Look at a sweater made in Ireland. It’s like a turtleneck made out of Brillo pads.
My childhood was completely dominated by Bill Clinton and the OJ trial. I don’t think we had a family dinner where one didn’t come up.
I was once on the telephone with Blockbuster Video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence.
You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term.
Being president looks like the worst job in the world.
You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term.
My childhood was completely dominated by Bill Clinton and the OJ trial. I don’t think we had a family dinner where one didn’t come up.
I’ll book a ticket on some garbage airline. I don’t wanna name an actual airline so let’s make one up, let’s just call it like Delta Airlines.
My dad is and was very funny and had a really dry sense of humor, which, as a kid, seemed un-fun. But in retrospect, it’s kind of hilarious.
College was like a four-year game show called ‘Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?
When I’m walking down the street I don’t think anybody goes, ‘Hey look at that man’, they’re just like ‘Woah, that tall child looks terrible.
I played basketball for five years and I was a benchwarmer all five years. If you were never a benchwarmer, I cannot express to you the humiliation of every Saturday morning, putting on a pair of breakaway pants and never having a reason to break them away.
I quit drinking because I used to drink too much, then I would blackout, and I would ruin parties.
I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I’ve always enjoyed it. There’s just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me.
As I got into high school and after puberty, I was a little more inward. I was a real extrovert when I was little, but I don’t know, I just got quieter… With my friends, I was still an extrovert.
It’s nice when you’re nervous and everybody’s like, ‘Yeah, you should be nervous.’ Because a lot of times you’re anxious and people say, ‘Relax. Shut up.’ And that just feels like, Well, I guess I’m also crazy.
If it’s something very, very funny but possibly controversial, if it’s truly funny, then it’s worth doing. Things aren’t worth doing for the sake of being controversial.
All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it.
I have tons of jokes with moments in them over the years in stand-up that don’t get a laugh but I love them so they stay.
You can’t always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit.
I’ll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die.
Things don’t exist until they exist.
I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the king of stress that I am under.
It was so beautiful today that I only watched four hours of Law & Order in my apartment
I’m a very lucky person. I’m an idiot, and I’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don’t feel like I deserve good treatment.
Being president looks like the worst job in the world.
Maybe I just have high self-esteem, but I have a lot that I really enjoy..
Understudies don’t normally get invited to openings.
You remember being 12, when you’re like, ‘No one will look at me or I’ll kill myself.’
The world is run by computers. The world is run by robots and we spend most of our day telling them we’re not a robot just so we can log on and look at our own stuff.
Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that’s awesome.
You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don’t know what they’re talking about
I’m a very straightforward person, but that’s fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times, you’re talking about everyone else.
You know comedy once you’re doing it.
It seems like everyone, everywhere, is super mad about everything, all the time.
